Summer/Autumn 2007
Volume 10, Number 3
Taking the Bite out of Biting
There are many firsts for a child. First step, first word, first bite. Wait a minute, first bite?
Yes, it is the call from the daycare or preschool that parents dread - whether their child is the bitten or the bitee. Why does that call deliver such an emotional wallop?
Researchers believe that the reason biting has such an impact on parents is that it’s regarded as primitive. In the adult world, biting is a behavior of last resort. If a child resorts to a primitive behavior, people must conclude that this child’s parents are primitive in their approach to child rearing. Why, they are no better than cavemen!
But let’s look at the facts:
- Cave children probably did bite. It is normal for children to bite. Many children, as attested to by nursing moms, start to bite with the eruption of the first tooth. This is not generally seen as aggression and so we don’t worry about it.
- In the last half of the first year of life, children bite as a method of experimentation. They are often seen giving their parents or caregivers a little nip on the shoulder or neck. This is much the same as an infant pulling at a caregiver’s hair. If the biting is not treated a “game,” the behavior soon disappears.
- Children may bite simply to see what happens next. It’s more of a developmental, exploration stage. This is especially true of infants and younger toddlers, who may
just be experimenting with their world.
- When you get that call from daycare saying your child has bitten another child, you think that your child is the only child to do this action in the seven-county metro area. The facts are that one-half of all children in daycare are bitten in any single year. And the average frequency is three times a year.
- Stress can contribute to biting. Biting happens more often when children are under stress. This can include being hungry and tired. Children often bite when they are teething, jealous, frustrated or angry. The most common day for biting to occur, after a long weekend at home, is Monday.
How can you stop biting?
- Don’t overreact. Gently show your disapproval regarding biting when your child bites. If your response is too intense, it can cause your child to become excited and reinforce the behavior.
- Try to catch your child before he or she bites and intervene before the bite occurs.
- Think of how many ways you can say, “no biting” without actually using the word “no.” Reprimand gently but firmly.
- If your child does bite, separate her from the action after she bites. Ignore her for a
few minutes. Then let her return to the action.
- Remind your child not to bite from time to time. Also let him know that biting hurts.
- Give some positive feedback and praise when your child isn't biting and is playing
nicely.
- Keep to your normal routine all day, including meals, naps, and playtime.
- Try to avoid playful biting. Nipping at your child’s fingers sends a mixed message to
your child. She can’t understand why sometimes it’s okay to bite while at other times it is not. A toddler cannot judge the pressure she’s putting into the bite.
- Give more attention to the injured child. Typically, don’t put all of your energy into
disciplining the biter. More time and attention should be spent attending to the child who was bit. Soothing the child who was bit can show your child that his actions caused another child pain. You can even encourage your child to help soothe his friend.
- For very young children, biting can be discouraged by giving them a teething ring.
- Don't do anything like bite your child back, physically punish your child or put anything in his mouth when he bites.
- First aid for bites includes calming reassurance for the child who was bit, washing the wound with mild soap and water, and covering the injury with a bandage. If the skin was broken, talk to your provider regarding any blood testing that may need to be done.
The key to responding to biting is to understand the reasons surrounding the action and responding appropriately. This is what separates us from the cavemen.
